Sitting Is The New Smoking

Sitting is getting a real bad rep. It’s steadily climbing up the second-tier vice ladder. First-tier is the really hardcore stuff like drugs and gambling; second-tier is smoking and drinking – less hardcore but does no favours for your life or waistline. That second-tier has recently welcomed a distant, twice-removed cousin: Sitting.

According to experts, too much sitting contributes to higher rates of diabetes, obesity, heart disease and even mortality. In fact, scientists at the American Journal of Epidemiology conducted a study earlier this year where they followed 123,000 adults over a 14-year period. They found that those who sat more than six hours a day were at least 18 percent more likely to die than those who sat less than three hours a day. Oh my god. If six hours is the limit, then I am officially a Sittaholic.

I never intended for it to happen. It just did. A lot of it is peer pressure. After all, when everyone around you is sitting all the time, you tend to follow suit. Also there are just so many chairs everywhere – at home, in the office, in restaurants, in cars … Some of them are pretty comfortable too. We also see pictures of attractive people sitting in newspapers, magazines and books. People on TV sit a lot too, especially those on talk shows. Due to these circumstances, I’ve unwittingly been seduced into becoming a Sittaholic. I need help. I need to rid myself of this terrible affliction I never knew I had until I read this article five and a half days ago.

Fortunately, as is the case with every newly proclaimed Problem, there is a Solution. Experts have found a cure to Sitting. It is called … Standing. I’m familiar with the concept as I have, on occasion, indulged in a fair bit of standing myself. I usually do this when I’m not … sitting. These experts claim that standing helps you concentrate better, prevents drowsiness and makes you feel like a “general even if you just push paper”.

Unfortunately, not all experts believe that Standing is all that it’s cracked up to be. Standing all day long leads to unsightly varicose veins, long-term back injuries and is taxing on the heart. Ah, so much for standing.

Our bodies are not built for Sitting or Standing for long periods of time. Our bodies, experts tell us, are built to move. You know, so we can chase after hapless rabbits, outrun ferocious man-eating tigers and prance around the jungle plucking berries for supper. Because we were made to move, we are doing our bodies a grievous disservice by Sitting all the time.

My take on the whole matter? I’m a big proponent of balance. We need to have a carefully calculated, highly customised schedule that combines sitting, standing, walking and jogging at cleverly timed intervals throughout the day so that we can keep moving while going about our daily routines. This highly personal schedule will be calculated based on a thorough assessment of your height, weight, percentage and distribution of body fat, your diet, lifestyle, occupation, eyesight, the colour of your teeth and how many times you watched Oprah in the last two months.

Follow this highly customised schedule religiously for 28 days (that’s how long it takes for an action to become a habit), and you will see visible physical results in 90 days (that’s how long it takes for your body to respond to lifestyle changes) and you will then achieve Optimal Health.

Optimal Health, that is, until the experts decide on what the next big Problem is. I hate to treat something as grave as Sitting so flippantly, but I have yet to win the fight against Knee Obesity – a condition I’ve been busy battling since February this year – and I can’t afford to have two big Problems at the same time. There are only 24 hours in a day, you know.

Good To Be Fat: 25 Reasons Why

Newsflash: my body weight has increased by 12% in the last three months. That’s right. I’m not freaked out. In fact, it’s got me thinking and I’ve come to the conclusion that being tubby isn’t all that bad. There are many advantages to being tubby / chubby / plump / big-boned / fat / whatever. Here are 25 of them:

1. People make way when you’re lumbering towards them. When you’re skinny, they stay where they are and expect you to turn sideways and squeeze through.
2. You perspire more, which means you’re eliminating more toxins than skinny people.
3. You have many layers of blubber and therefore, can withstand cold weather better – great if you plan to migrate to a cold country.
4. You don’t have to worry about becoming some shriveled old prune when you turn 60. You’ll have enough blubber reserve to be what young folks like to call, “A jolly old lady”.
5. Babies like you more.
6. Dogs like you more.
7. Come to think of it, even your grandmother likes you more.
8. If you’re ever stuck on an island with no hope of ever being rescued, you’ll be the first to be killed and eaten – that’s a good thing because that way, at least you’ll be humanely killed by your friends (unless you have very evil friends who hate your guts). Your friends will later be ravaged by the mysterious, monstrous beasts that have been skulking around in the bushes waiting cunningly for their chance to attack and tear the heads off – wait, I’ve been watching too many castaway movies.
9. People think you’re jolly even when you’re scowling.
10.  People assume you’re healthy because of all those nutrients in the mountain loads of food you’ve been scoffing down.
11. You get to buy new clothes!
12. You have an excuse for wheezing your way up the hill; skinny people are frowned upon if they wheeze.
13. You have one extra thing to bitch about.
14. You can make fun of skinny people and accuse them of being anorexic.
15. You can wear shirts that say, “I may be fat but you’re stupid.”
16. You are bigger and therefore, more visually prominent (read: important), than everyone else.
17. Robbers will think twice about kidnapping you.
18. You can sit on people who annoy you.
19. You will actually have boobs and a butt.
20. You have more fun nicknames such as Tubs, Chubs and Pui-Pui, all of which are very, very endearing. Skinny people have nicknames like Skeleton, Matchstick, Beanpole and Praying Mantis.
21. You’re nicer to hug.
22. You can be BB (Big & Beautiful) as opposed to SW (Skinny & Whatever).
23. And if you’re one of those aimless, goal-less individuals who have no idea what to do their lives, being fat automatically gives you a life goal: to lose weight!
24. Your ass doesn’t hurt as bad when you sit for a long time.
25. I’ve run out of reasons and I’m too lazy to change the title of my post

Screw Discipline. I’m Going Back To Bed

I feel like crap. I have run no more than three times since I got back from the Singapore Marathon in December and I will say it again: I feel like crap. I’m battling a combination of wretched guilt, some extra poundage (I don’t know how much cos I don’t own a scale) and a crippling feeling of malaise. Before I bumble any further, I should explain my use of the word ‘run’. By ‘run’, I mean a pathetic attempt at walking and jogging and whining all at once – a Herculean feat especially since I have literally crawled back to square one as far as my stamina is concerned. It’s awful. I don’t know where that 2009-ME has gone. The one with all the discipline, drive, enthusiasm, energy … it’s like she died last December and left this miserable 2010-ME in her place. I do not like this 2010-ME. It’s a defective model.

So I’m going to get my act together … right … after … Chinese New Year. No no no no-o-o-o-o. Right now, right now. To get started, I shall now inspire myself with some quotes about the one thing I need the most right now: discipline.

“It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through.” (Zig Ziglar)… My commitment and discipline have gone bust but I think I still have a smidgen of that character left. Now if only I can find it …

“Discipline is remembering what you want.” (David Campbell) … I seem to have forgotten in the face of other seemingly important, more ‘pressing’ things …

“Lack of discipline leads to frustration and self-loathing.” (Marie Chapian) … Self-loathing – yeah, plenty of that going around right now …

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” (Jim Rohn) … I have a horrible feeling that regret will indeed one day weigh tons – literally …

“No evil propensity of the human heart is so powerful that it may not be subdued by discipline.” (Seneca) … Well, I guess the desire to lie around in bed and have bacon bits for breakfast can be considered by some to be ‘evil’, can’t it? …

“If we do not discipline ourselves, the world will do it for us.” (William Feather) … Well, either the world or nature itself …

Hmm, so am I sufficiently inspired? I don’t know. Ask me tomorrow when I’m trying to get out of bed early in the morning. Ask me then.

Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2009

I love Singapore. This is a momentous occasion for me, sort of like a gay guy coming out of the closet and I will say it again: I lurve Singapore. Was there last weekend with some friends for the Singapore Marathon 2009 and I loved it! Oh yes, did I mention that I love Singapore? Well, I do. And this is why:

THE RACE PACK COLLECTION

On the day before the run, we drove to the Expo Convention and Exhibition Centre to collect our race packs. There were tons of cars but it was a gloriously huge parking lot, so no frustrating fruitless rounds were required.

No waiting or lining up either; we walked right up to the row of counters. Young girls (school kids, they looked like) were manning the booth. They were professional, cheery, fast and even wished us a good run the next day. Being Malaysian and therefore, used to bad service, I was a little taken aback.

This is so different from the KL Marathon when we had a horrendous time circling the area at Dataran Merdeka hoping for a parking spot to magically appear. It didn’t appear of course, simply because there were no spots. We had to dump the car in some god-forsaken corner, pray a truck wouldn’t ram into it, make a mad dash to the collection booth, put up with the grumpy staff who shoved our race packs at us and dash back to the car.

THE FLAG-OFF TIME

Flag-off was at 8.30am, so we woke up at 6am, were at the MRT station by 6.45am, reached Raffles City station by 7am.

We had arrived way too early cos we were supposed to meet two other friends over there at 7.30am, so we had some time to kill.

The flag-off time for the KL Marathon was 7am, which meant we dragged ourselves out of bed at 4.30am, drove to Dataran and got there by 6am, spent the next hour lining up in front of the few lousy portable toilets, then made a mad dash for the starting line at 7am. I think flagging off at a decent 8.30am is a much better idea.

THE STARTING LINE

We were all gathered near the starting line at about 8am. The emcee was great and did a fab job getting everyone up and in the mood.

Pic by Susan Ng

He cracked a bunch of jokes and led the runners through a silly dance routine before the horn finally sounded at 8.30am.

I can’t even remember the emcee for the KL Marathon – he (or she) was that forgettable. The Penang Bridge Marathon emcee I can remember however, but for all the wrong reasons. She didn’t talk to us; she talked at us. She was like a matronly schoolteacher admonishing a bunch of silly kids (that was obviously us).  She added nothing to the atmosphere; just tossed out instruction after instruction. It was quite a turn-off really.

THE RUNNERS

There were 50,000 runners (hoo yah). Men and women were separated into different categories and had different start times.

The moment the horn sounded, everyone started running. Damn semangat. Nobody seemed to be slowing down but that was normal right? The crowd would probably start to thin out (and slow down) by the fourth or fifth km – or so I thought. But no wor.

Pic by Susan Ng

And what was more, most were running throughout the entire route. Even the ones who did slow down only slowed down for a few moments before picking up the pace again. These people were doing this for real – don’t play-play! I was impressed!

You have to understand where I’m coming from. As far as my experiences with Malaysian marathons went, some runners are already walking within the first few hundred metres. And as the kms go by, the crowd thins out and more runners start to do the half-run, half-walk thing (including yours truly). So in Singapore, I was impressed … and of course, stressed. Had to work harder to keep up, otherwise no face!

THE WATER STATIONS

There was so much water here, the only risk runners could possibly suffer from was being over-hydrated. There were water stations and at times, 100PLUS stations, every 2K or so.

I found myself giving the last water station a miss cos I was so well-hydrated. That has never happened before, at least not with Malaysian running events. I have never understood why our organisers are so kiam-siap with water. Aren’t these things sponsored? It’s inhumane (not to mention kinda dumb) to expect people to run in such hot weather and offer only one or two water stations along a 10K route.

THE FANFARE

There were so many people stationed along the route – school kids who played cheerleaders for the day, the first aid folks, supporters, volunteers and at one point, even a band.

Pic by Susan Ng

And these people weren’t window dressing either. They were really cheering us on, encouraging us to step it up. It was real motivation not to slack off (no face leh) … there’s hardly any fanfare here in Malaysia. The handful of people stationed along the route is usually either busy yakking with one another or simply looking utterly bored, swatting mosquitoes by the roadside. They make you want to ram into them with your running shoe, then give them paper cuts with your bib.

THE LAST 2K

While I was more than sufficiently hydrated through the entire 10K thanks to the many water stations, there was a downside to this. Because I was used to having water stations pop up every 3K or so, after having passed three water stations at the Singapore Marathon, I was under the impression that I had already done over 9K.

That was before I saw the sign, which said another 2KM – %$#@$#$#@!!!

… and then, this sign – %$#@%!!!

THE FINISH LINE

Despite my cussing, the last 1K before the finish line was really a lot of fun. There were so many supporters and cheerleaders along the way you couldn’t help but be boosted by their really loud enthusiasm. So there we were, running running running … 800m … 600m … 400m … the cheering got louder and louder and I heard strains of Bryan Adams’ Summer of ’69. It was such a rush as everybody picked up the pace and gunned for the big finish. It was great

THE MEDAL COLLECTION

The moment we finished, we were herded down a designated path. I had no idea where we were going, so I just walked along. Within a few short minutes, I found myself inside a massive tent, the Finisher’s Medal placed in my hand and a warm “Congratulations” from a volunteer. Talk about efficient.

Pic by Susan Ng

At a Malaysian running event, not only is there no fanfare at the finish line, once you are done, it isn’t immediately clear where you’re supposed to go. Case in point: after finishing the KL Marathon, we were pretty much left to figure out for ourselves where to go. We asked around and were told to queue up to collect our medals. We spent the next 30 to 45 minutes queuing and the last 5 minutes shoving our way through to the collection counter (the crowd was merciless) to claim our hard-won piece of metal.

THE TOILETS

On the way out to the MRT station, I caught sight of rows and rows and rows of portable loos.

And rows and rows and rows … they looked exquisite.

If my remarks disturb you, again you must understand where I’m coming from. I come from a country of deplorable public toilets. So this beautiful row of toilets, to me, is nothing short of exquisite. Sublime. Divine. And look ma, no queues!

THE MCDONALD’S

As is customary after every run, we stuff our faces with the unhealthiest food we could find. Delicious.

And the McCafé Oreo cookie cake slice wasn’t too bad either.

THE END

So in conclusion, I love Singapore. Oh wait. Did I already mention that before?

Get Fit In 6 Minutes A Week!

Okay, somebody give me a cord. I want to strangle a researcher. First, they say don’t eat eggs, high cholesterol. Then they say, can eat eggs. Then, they say every day must take vitamins. Then, they say taking vitamins may be bad for you if you exercise. Then, they say every day must exercise for at least 30 minutes and now they say …

… 6 minutes of exercise A WEEK is enough to get fit. What the …??!!!

According to the Wellness blog at NYT, some researchers in Japan – after completing another grueling study on the collagen-boosting properties of wasabi sandwiches, I’m sure – decided to dump a bunch of rats in a big pot of water. One group (let’s call them Rodents A) was made to paddle for six hours and the other group (let’s call them Rodents B) was made to paddle furiously for 20 seconds. To make things more interesting, the researchers piled weights on Rodents B (what savages – and by savages, I mean the researchers, not the rodents). Rodents B was then allowed to rest for 10 seconds and then, dunked back to swim intensely for another 20 seconds. This was repeated 14 times, totaling about 4 over minutes in time. Then all the rodents were scientifically poked and prodded, and researchers found that the molecular changes – whatever that means – were the same in both groups of rats.

So the conclusion was, and I quote, “Six minutes or so a week of hard exercise had proven to be as good as multiple hours of working out for achieving fitness.”

And then, the killer question: Could it be that most of us are spending more time than we need to trying to get fit? Apparently, more and more sports scientists are beginning to say, “Yup.”

Aiya, so what is it now? 90 minutes, 60 minutes, 30 minutes, 15 minutes, 6 minutes? A month, a week, a day? Morning time, afternoon time or evening time? Rats or rodents? Gerbils or hamsters? Come on, hurry up. I haven’t got all day, you know. I have to go drown myself in a pot in precisely six minutes.

Oh, The (Exercise) Guilt Is Killing Me

I haven’t worked out since Jan 10 – it was the day before I left for Tokyo. It has been a grand total of 18 days. Gulp. That’s 2½ weeks. More than half a month. To make matters worse, I’ve been piling on the ba-kua, kuih kapit and pineapple cookies for the past several days … plus I’ll be going to Cambodia this Saturday and won’t be back in KL until next Thursday. Oh god.

I know what it is: my routine’s been screwed up this month. It’s been a very chaotic first-month-of-the-year – there have been some significant changes taking place and I guess I’ve just been too distracted to work out. For me, working out has always been more mental than anything. If I’m not in the right frame of mind, I find it so much harder to do.

This is silly. I should be looking forward to my trip this weekend instead of mulling over how many more ‘workout days’ I’m gonna be missing. Besides, I know the dust will settle once I get back next week and I’ll get back into The Routine … and until then, I should stop treating this like it’s some kind of huge failure on my part.

*Gives self two tight slaps*

Yeah. I guess that’s what I’ll do.

I Heart My New Shoes

I got a new pair of running shoes. Finally!! I know that shoes are the most important thing when it comes to running (next up is a good sports bra) but I’ve been too preoccupied with what I’m wearing from the knees up to worry too much about the shoes. But I gotta do this um, “thing” next weekend which requires a good pair of shoes – don’t ask me what; you’ll know soon enough – so I had no choice but to go shoe-shopping.

This may come as a shock to some of you but I don’t actually like shopping. Seriously. I don’t. I think it’s a major pain in the butt. I’m not one of those girls who can spend an entire day going from store to store to store window-shopping. I’m vehemently against window-shopping. If you got no money, stay home la. What’s this window-shopping nonsense?? You go into a store, you BUY SOMETHING. Otherwise, you’re just taking up space. For me, if I need to buy something, I’ll go to one or two stores and if I don’t find something I like, I get bored and start looking around for a cinnamon bun.

So with my shoes, I went to New Balance (after quickly deciding that I’d be insane to buy another pair of Nikes). The guys there were very professional, extremely helpful and they sure knew their stuff. Which was great cos I sure didn’t know mine. I was so impressed by the service that I very nearly bought the shoes on the spot. Problem was, I couldn’t stand the way they looked. They were bright orange (which was really cool) but they also made me look like the Ronald – as in McDonald. Yes yes, I know. It’s not about how good/bad the shoes look; it’s about how well/poorly they fit you, blah blah blah. I’m sorry la but for me, it’s always about HOW THE SHOES LOOK. Come to think of it, it’s always about how EVERYTHING looks, but let’s not get into that kettle of fish just yet.

Anyways, that dismal shopping attempt was a month ago. Last weekend, I went to Studio R. Tried on various brands but wasn’t too excited about any of them. Then I tried on a pair of Asics and omg, I fell in love. They were absolutely perfect. They felt amazing and they looked great. I paid for them right away. No cinnamon bun for me today.

You know how in relationships, you know when you find The One (you also know when you find The Wrong)? That’s how it is with shoes. When you find The One, everything is just … right. Then you start spending lots of time together, and the shoe/guy loses some of his initial lustre, begins to chafe/annoy you, starts to get scruffy/gain weight, gives you bunions/grief, starts to look old and boring next to the newer, snazzier models … but that’s a long way from happening (I give it six to eight months tops).

For now, I’m optimistic me and my Asics will have a long, happy relationship. Unfortunately, this relationship’s gotta wait a while before it’s consummated – I’ve been nursing a damn fever since I brought them home!!!

Exercise A Must (Oh Is It?)

I wake up this morning feeling lazy. I’m supposed to get in a short work out before heading off to the office but I don’t feel like it. I’m having my coffee and flipping through the papers, a battle raging in my head: maybe I should work out, maybe I shouldn’t, maybe I should, maybe I shouldn’t, should, shouldn’t, should, shouldn’t. The ‘shouldn’t’ was winning until I turn the page and see this.

The headline reads: Exercise a must, says Rosmah (huh?). Apparently, we are to “spend about half an hour each day to do some physical exercise to keep fit and healthy (oh is it?). Just 20 to 30 minutes a day is sufficient as long as it is done continuously (really ah?).” She then tells us to embark on healthy “activities like aerobics, going to the gymnasium or taking part in jogathons.” (All this coming from a woman whose only form of exercise, as far as I can see, is balancing a head full of hairspray).

After wiping away the tears of laughter coursing down my cheeks, I hop onto my machine and pedal furiously for a good 45 minutes. Then I go wash out my eyes with chilli padi. There’s only so much Fat & Ugly I can handle in one morning, you know.

Yes, I understand the government is trying hard to get the rakyat off their butts and lose some poundage, but come on. If you really want to make exercise appealing, stop putting up pictures of men who look like they’re nine months pregnant and women who look like they just ate their kids for lunch.

God, I need to erase all the Ugly I’ve just witnessed.

Okay, that’s much better. And for added measure …

… ah … now … um, what were we talking about again?

Jogging @ KLCC Park

We’re running out of parks to visit. Looks like we might soon be going back to our routine. Bummer. There are only so many lakes you can go run around, I guess. Well, this Sunday morning, it’s the KLCC Park. It’s not easy, I tell you. Do you have any idea how it feels to be walking through the Shopping Mall and not … actually shopping? (Partly cos no stores are open at 8am, and partly cos I’m here to exercise my body, not exercise my credit card). It’s agony. But having said that, I do like the feel of a quiet, empty mall. It’s almost like being in a place of worship. You feel a sense of awe, of reverence, makes you want to drop down into a lotus position and start to meditate. We don’t do that, of course. Instead, we march past it all and go out into the 20-hectare park.

The fountain area is full of workers hard at work cleaning it out. Yeah, they should. Clean up the garbage before the 10am lepak crowd throngs the place to hang around on the steps, throw rubbish on the ground and have Ramly burger picnics on the tiled floor.

Anyways, the KLCC Park jogging trail starts here – somewhere to the right of the fountain area, where the Convention Centre is. So used to being on tarred road all the time, I’m not used to the rubberised path, but it’s definitely easier on the joints. Looks incredibly inviting too. By then, there are quite a lot of people at the park – families, kids, photographers and several serious runner-types (you can always tell from their tanned, toned arms and legs – sigh).

I really like it here. Beautiful wide open spaces, plenty of cops around (just in case you decide to run amok and you know, tunjuk perasaan or something), quite a number of drinking water fountains – while I would never drink from them, it’s nice to see that they’re there. There’s also a kiddie playground right in the centre of the loop.

The entire trail is about 1.2km – a lot shorter than I’d expected. Along the way, though, you get to enjoy plenty of nice views …

… like the sight of ongoing construction …

… a humongous mosque (it wouldn’t be Malaysia if there weren’t a mosque nearby now, would it?) …

… and of course, the splendorous Petronas Twin Towers …

… I love the sight of the towers and no matter how many times I see them, they never fail to impress. I love how they loom majestically above everything and can clearly be seen no matter where you are in the park.

If I had to work in KL, this is where I’d like to be. Come 6pm, when everybody’s all busy crawling their way home in the mad KL traffic, I can nicely put on my workout clothes and go let off some steam in the park, come back up, shower and then, when traffic has eased, go home. Ah, that would be the life. Unlike where I’m working now (which shall remain undisclosed), there’s nothing green within nowhere. It’s very pathetic. Only plenty of lousy longkangs, rows of haphazardly triple-parked cars and a contingent of notorious snatch thieves that prowl the streets at lunch time. Sure, there’s a gym two minutes’ drive away but I don’t feel like paying money to climb stairs that aren’t there or run on a ‘road’ that goes nowhere.

We do our customary one hour thing and then, head out of the park and back to the mall. We toy with the idea of breakfasting in one of the cafés but decide against it cos we have no cash on us. Besides, nobody wants a bunch of sweaty, stinky girls sitting in their establishment, scaring away the customers.

Walking through the mall again at 9am, we’re again burdened by the guilt of being there and not buying anything. It’s a crime, I tell you. But when we get to the machine and have to pay a parking fee of RM4 for a measly one hour, the guilt quickly dissipates. Hmm. Guess my purse gets a workout after all.

Putrajaya Perdana Park

I’ve ever only gone to Putrajaya for work but this morning, my friends and I popped by one of the taman-taman awam in the area, namely Putrajaya Perdana Park in Precinct 1. There are quite a number of other tamans there – a botanical garden, wetlands, agricultural park and the hutan rimba – but we decided on PPP mainly to check out the jogging trail and the famed panoramic view (it’s located at the highest point in Precinct 1).

The park was easy enough to find (it’s next to Putrajaya Shangri-La). Upon arrival, we are greeted by a wondrous sight: an almost empty parking lot. I get a sense of déjà vu – a number of the places we go to also tend to be quite empty. I’m beginning to wonder if we’re the only nerds in Klang Valley who wake up so early to do this sort of thing on a weekend. Probably.

Ah, welcome to the park and here’s a long list of regulations. There are many things you’re not allowed to do here: cannot panjat any of the pokok, cannot throw stones or sticks, cannot pee into the pool or take a shower anywhere in the park, cannot start a bonfire, cannot fly kite, cannot bring your carpet here to wash and cannot bring dog (but can bring horse; such harsh double standards). With great disappointment, I rolled up my carpet and put it back into the car. Looks like carpet-washing Saturday will now have to wait till Sunday.

Walking past the entrance, we’re immediately ushered down a wide path landscaped with trees and water fountains to the Mercu Tanda right at the end. We are the only ones here at this point – the foreign workers there outnumber us 2 to 1. They’re there painting the seats, picking up dead leaves, cleaning the place and in general, gawking at us like they never see people before. Maybe they think we’re Japanese tourists or something.

And this is the grand landmark: the Mercu Tanda, which symbolises the beginnings of Putrajaya. It’s a time capsule, you know.

Go past it and you’re led to one of the highest grounds in the city where you can enjoy a panoramic view of practically the whole of Putrajaya. There are telescopes available and it’s a really great view too. Apart from this though, what strikes me is how quiet the city is – which to me is weird for a Saturday morning. It’s so still it’s almost like looking at a painting. I don’t see a single person down there. The only movement is from one bus and two cars on the road. Where’s the hustle and bustle of a vibrant city? Where’s the energy? The vibe? Oh well. Maybe Putrajaya folks are not morning people.

I really like the jogging trails here and there are plenty in this 158-acre very beautifully landscaped park. I read somewhere that of the many jogging routes here, the longest one is 1.5km. Yes, I’m aware I should have discovered this on my own instead of getting it from some other source but truth be told, I suck at gauging distance … just as much as I suck at reading those really big maps you get at the gas station.

At some point, along the jogging trail, we see a Kembara ambling towards us. I remember the big blue regulations sign out front expressly saying that “vehicles are not allowed on the footpath”. Sigh. So Malaysian. I can see tomorrow’s headlines now: Local Girl Mowed Down By Car In Park.

Farther down the trail, we bump into a car parked right smack on the footpath. It’s empty and the door is open. The driver’s probably jogging somewhere nearby.

We run around until we come to another park attraction: the Megalith Park, a collection of stones brought over from Tampin, Negri Sembilan – our very own mini Stonehenge. Being the semi-camwhore that I am, I take a pic of myself and clean forget to snap one of the prehistoric stones. Oops.

Before we leave, we pay a visit to the ladies. As we’re about to enter, a man with the eyes of a crazed killer armed with a mop and bucket comes out. Hmm. Definitely not something you want to see if you’re here in the evening and by yourself.

Anyways, the toilet is thankfully (and surprisingly) clean except that the flush doesn’t work. The flush doesn’t work because there is no flush. This may look like some sort of ashtray in the wall but it’s really where the flush is supposed to be. If you look closely, the pink dot is a hole that you can see through to the outside. Which means somebody on the other side of the wall can look in and you know, see you in there. Eeww.

And oh look, there’s also a hole in the door of that same stall. Why this place got so many holes one? If you ever go there, take my advice, steer clear of the last stall.

All in all, we spent one grand hour at the Putrajaya Perdana Park and my verdict? I like. It’s got enough variety in its routes to keep you going for a while without getting bored. It’s very clean and well-maintained and safe. It’s got ample free parking space. My only beef is that it’s too far from where I am, which means this is probably the one and only time I’ll be coming here. Or maybe I should just move to Putrajaya. After all, as we plainly saw, they could use a few more residents.