1Toilet: Together, We Flush

So apparently, the secret to world peace is sharing a toilet. Yesterday, the Terenganu state government announced that they will introduce … (drumroll please) … 1Toilet!!! In the school!!! Okay la, so the paper didn’t say 1Toilet will bring world peace, but they did say that it will “liberalise education”. Yes, very liberating indeed.
1Toilet is [...]

We’re Malaysians And We Like ‘Em Ugly

As a country, we’re known for lots of things – great food, horrendous public toilets and idiot politicians who behave like extras in a B-grade soap opera – and last week, I added one more to the list. We don’t like good-looking people.
Case in point: Malaysian wives are up in arms, insisting on a ban [...]

Wherefore Art Thou, Shah Rukh?

Dangerously debonair Bollywood Superstar Shah Rukh Khan has confirmed today that he is too busy to come to Malacca to accept his datukship. Oh no. This is going to make us look stupid. No, wait a minute. We already look stupid. For the benefit of my valued readers, I have taken the liberty to recreate [...]

Exercise A Must (Oh Is It?)

I wake up this morning feeling lazy. I’m supposed to get in a short work out before heading off to the office but I don’t feel like it. I’m having my coffee and flipping through the papers, a battle raging in my head: maybe I should work out, maybe I shouldn’t, maybe I should, maybe [...]

Ah Seng (Alor) Now & Forever

We now have an ending to the whole four-day Alor saga. Looks like Alor will remain Alor (for those of you who read my previous post, ie. Ah Seng will remain Ah Seng after all). Only in Malaysia, we have stories like this. I swear to god, if all the comedy writers will just come [...]

My Name Is Ah Seng And I’m 35 Years Old

You have a son. His name is Ah Seng. Everybody knows him as Ah Seng. Everybody likes Ah Seng. Ah Seng is 35 years old. Not young anymore. Ah Seng serves the best chicken wings and char siew in town. In fact, Ah Seng is so famous that he’s even listed in 900,000 web pages [...]

Nicely dressed – Rompin MP praises Teresa’s dressing

There were only two stories under Dewan Rakyat yesterday and one of them was Nicely dressed – Rompin MP praises Teresa’s dressing (the other was about some police beat base in Chow Kit which is so bad that even “the police themselves are scared and running away”).
Some BN MP (whose name I can’t be bothered [...]

All This Unity Is Killing Me

If I see the word ‘unity’ one more time in the papers, I swear I’ll become insane and my head will explode. We’re a multiracial country, diversity is our strength, rakyat muhibbah, bangsa Malaysia, ya ya, I get it. No need to beat me over the head with it. Geez. When are we going to [...]