Skeletons, Sliced Ham, Grandma & Barbecued Chicken

My mother screwed me up the other day for missing breakfast, lunch and eating dinner right before midnight. She launches into mother mode and tells me I must have regular meals, otherwise I won’t have energy to work. I tell her, on the contrary, I feel absolutely fabulous and full of energy. And no, I [...]

Miss Singapore 2009 Goes “Boomz!”

I have nothing against Singaporeans. Okay, I’m lying. I have plenty against Singaporeans (you’re not a true Malaysian unless you do – hahaha) but this isn’t some anti-Singapore vendetta and you know how it pains me to make fun of people (yeah right) … but this is just too damn funny.

So anyway, this is Ris [...]

I Have Facial Dysmorphic Disorder

I have FDD. This morning, I discovered that I have this condition, which was why I invented and named it this afternoon. Yesterday, I was placed on a bed at a spa and extracted into oblivion (those of you familiar with facials will know what I’m talking about), not without a bout of weak protests [...]

Welcome, Belly Roll & Stretch Mark

History was made in the snobby fashion world. Look ma! A picture of a topless woman who hasn’t been totally airbrushed, weighs an elephantine 180 pounds, is a US size 14, has chubby thighs and (gasp!) a belly roll drooping over her thong. Even though it was teensy 3 x 3 inch pic buried in [...]

The 10 Signs Of Auntiehood

In other countries, auntie means the sister of your father or mother; the wife of your uncle. Here in Malaysia, auntie means different things. It represents a certain phase in life, a certain type of appearance and certain ‘auntie-type’ characteristics. When someone calls you an Auntie, it’s not a compliment. In my post today, I [...]

I Hate Going To The Dentist

I went to the dentist today. I’ve only ever been to the dentist twice – once when I fell down and whacked my jaw against the sink, tore up my lip and chipped my tooth; and another time to extract my top two wisdom teeth. So, as you can see, I only go to the [...]

High Heels: To Wear Or Not To Wear?

1. Keep your eyes up.
2. Suck in your stomach and butt so your weight doesn’t shift backwards.
3. Imagine there’s an orange between your thighs.
4. Imagine you’re wearing heels higher than the ones you have on.
5. Think confidence. Think glamour. Think red carpet.
6. And run like a Hollywood princess.
And that’s how you run in high heels? [...]

Confessions Of A Skinny Hypocrite

Read this and tell me if you agree or disagree.

If you aren’t thin, you aren’t attractive.
Being thin is more important than being healthy.
You must buy clothes, cut your hair, take laxatives, starve yourself, do anything to make yourself look thinner.
Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty.
Thou shall not eat fattening food without punishing oneself afterwards.
Thou [...]

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Skinny

Um, this is the new Miss Australia Universe? I know la today’s standards of beauty are skinny, skinny and skinny but even this is pushing it. You’re telling me, of all the gorgeous girls in Australia, this one is the fairest of them all? This is a joke right? You people are kidding right?

You can [...]

Feeling Like 18 Again!

Coco Chanel said, “A woman who doesn’t wear perfume has no future.”
Good lord. I’d better spritz a whole bucket load on myself pronto. I confess: I’ve never been a big scent-wearer … unlike some girls who wear so much that they stuff up everybody’s nasal passages in the lift. Glug. Well, I’m not one of [...]