The Rabies Awareness Fun Run

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I absolutely love The Office. I must’ve watched every episode at least three times and no, I’m not exaggerating. Seeing that my blog contains a fair share of stuff on running, I thought it was apt to pay tribute to the show’s one running episode: The Fun Run in season 4.

Michael hits Meredith with his car. She winds up in the hospital where she discovers she has rabies (from the time Dwight trapped her head in a garbage bag that had a bat in it – that scene was hilarious!). Michael then decides to organize a 5K run to raise money for rabies awareness.

Michael Scott: I love my employees. Even though I hit one of you with my car. For which I take full responsibility for. Look I’m just trying to take everybody’s mind off this unavoidable tragedy and on to more positive things. So I thought we should plant a tree.

[seeing Meredith in the hospital room]
Michael Scott: She looks like an angel.
Kelly: She looks awful.
Michael Scott: No, ok, she always looks like that. It’s not my fault.
Jim Halpert: I think she’s awake.
Michael Scott: No, she’s in a coma.
Nurse: No

[Talking to the camera]
Michael Scott: Why I’m taking responsibility, and it is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car. I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

[In the meeting room]
Michael Scott: You spend your whole life trying to get people to like you and then you run over one person with your car. And it’s not even one of the popular ones, and everybody gets on your case. Doesn’t make any sense. God is dead … maybe believing in God was a mistake. What did people believe in before? The sun. Maybe there’s some sort of animal that we can make a sacrifice to. Like a giant buffalo. Or some sort of monster … something with the body of a walrus with the head of a sea lion, or something with the body of an egret. With the head of a meer cat. Or just the head of a monkey with the antlers of a reindeer. With a body of…. a porcupine.

[Answering phone]
Pam: Michael Scott’s Dunder-Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Race for the Cure this is Pam.

[Talking to the camera]
Michael Scott: A woman shouldn’t have to be hit by a car to learn that she has rabies. But that is where we are in America, and that does not sit right with me. And that is why I am hosting a fun run race for the cure for rabies. To raise awareness for the fact that there is a cure for rabies… a disease that has been largely eradicated in the US, but not very many people know that.

[In the men’s room, taping his nipples]
Andy Bernard: I’m petrified of nipple chaffing. Once it starts it is a vicious circle… you have sensitive nipples, they chaff, so they become more sensitive, so they chaff more. So I take precautions.

[Presenting a mock giant cheque for 340 dollars, made out to Science, to a stripper posing as a nurse because he couldn’t find a Rabies Doctor]
Michael Scott: Myth – three Americans die every year from rabies. Fact – four Americans every year die from rabies. How many of you know someone that has been afflicted or affected by rabies? Show of hands. One, two, three… too many to count. It is truly the silent killer. No, it is the foaming barking killer.

[running, out of breath]
Michael Scott: I am not going to finish. I can’t beat rabies. Nobody can beat rabies. Rabies has been around for a thousand years. And I was a fool to think that I could beat it.

[collapsed on the ground, about to puke]
Michael Scott: Finishing that 5K was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I ate more fettuccini alfredo, and drank less water than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit …

… Well today I had a triumph of the human body. That’s why everybody was applauding for me at the end. My guts, my heart and well I eventually puked my guts out. I never puked my heart out, and I am very proud of that.

And at the end of the run, they were all 5 kilometres away from the office and had to walk back. “You couldn’t have made it a circle??!!” ROTFLMAO

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Tags: 5K, Fun Run, rabies awareness, running, Season 4, The Office