It’s official. I am suffering from DSS: Delusional Disorder Syndrome. That’s the only plausible explanation for why I just did what I did. What did I do, you ask? Um, I signed up for the Penang Bridge International Marathon. (Loyal reader: “Cheh, big deal …”) Wait, wait, I’m not done. I signed up for the PBIM 21K. (Loyal reader: “21?? You siau or what? Lu ai si ah??”)
See, I’m right: I am a crazy person. Not only do I suffer from DSS, I also suffer from a chronic case of DFFOL (Do First, Freak Out Later). I’ve had it ever since I was a child. Some people admire this – they call it a sense of exuberance, passion and boundless enthusiasm. Some people just think I’m plain nuts.
I’m beginning to be convinced that I may fall into the latter category. I was filled with exuberance, passion and boundless enthusiasm when I happily keyed in my credit card information and registered myself online. The reality of what I did didn’t sink in until oh, a few days later when I suddenly realised three things:
- The 21K starts at 3am, which means we have to be at there at 2am. Omg.
- 21K is very, very f-a-a-a-a-a-a-r. It’s 52.5 loops around a 400m track! It’s from PJ to Damansara! It’s 21,000m! Okay, now I’m freaking out.
- The qualifying time for 21K is three hours, which means I’m supposed to run that whole distance in three hours or less. I’ve never even walked 21K and now I’m going to run it?? Omg.
But you know what? I think that thinking is the enemy. Which is why I plan to put a stop to thinking. That’s right. I’m going to stop thinking. Forever. It has brought me nothing but grief – the vicious cycles of over-analysis, tortuous self-debates, why this why that, what if this what if that … I’ve discovered that the more I think, the more self-doubt creeps in. Doubts like:
- Are you sure this isn’t just another one of your harebrained schemes to prove something to the world?
- You’re not as tough as you think la, remember that time when [insert unfortunate incident here]?
- Even [insert friend’s name here] is only doing the Fun Run, you think you’re better than him/her/them meh?
- What if you wind up Last in the race? Really no face la, especially since you went and announced it on your blog like a big shot!
- Eh, it’s very intimidating to run with real marathoners, you know. These people are fast!
- What if you get a headache / stomachache / toothache / leg ache / bad hair day? How to run like that?
- You’re jumping the gun la. You should wait until you’re ready and sure you can do it before going out there and embarrassing yourself and your mother / father / brother / sister / dog / cat.
Yeah, these thoughts plague me every now and then. But being a sufferer of DSS, DFFOL and an avowed anti-thinker, I’m able to rise above these debilitating thoughts. So I’m here to say yes, I will be attempting the 21K and I will finish it and I will look back and be glad I did it. 
15 Comments
May 18, 2009 at 4:02 PM
Run Winnie Run!
May 18, 2009 at 11:58 PM
For such a wuss chicken, I sure am brimming over with enthusiasm, aren’t I? Ah, I’m so deluded I amaze myself sometimes …
May 18, 2009 at 6:32 PM
*faints*
Good luck *faints again*
I am gonna go sleep again
May 19, 2009 at 12:01 AM
Haha, thanks
It’s like 6 months away so I’m not worrying about it yet. I’ll start panicking in Nov! … plus, I’m gonna add you to my blogroll as a reward for reading my blog *pompous laugh*
May 19, 2009 at 12:27 AM
Haha, thank u. I am honored. I am always too lazy to update my blogroll but here, let me just go back and do it for u, before i sleep in the office again :p
May 19, 2009 at 12:28 AM
go winnie go go go! let’s do the go go dance!
May 19, 2009 at 12:34 AM
but… but… but I’m scared! Feel the fear and do it anyway!!
May 19, 2009 at 11:43 AM
you can finish one. No need to do it in the time limit. As long as you finish.
May 19, 2009 at 12:28 PM
Ok. Then I’ll take 4.5 hours to do it …:-)
May 20, 2009 at 9:25 AM
You truly are insane.
I entertained the ‘thought’ of the Stan Chart 10k. And don’t ask me how running 5km feels like forever to me. how the do you do it la you crazy woman
May 20, 2009 at 11:52 AM
Doughnut Queen! Yeah, I guess I am a little insane. I’m going for the Stan Chart 10K one too … eh, go la!!! I’ll probably pengsan halfway but who cares – just do it!! Then reward self with doughnut
… and how does a 5K feel? Glorious, I’m thinking?
May 20, 2009 at 10:37 AM
Go! Go! Fighting!
I don’t think I can even do 5k properly non-stop now.
May 20, 2009 at 11:54 AM
Aiya, if you say you can’t do 5K now, it means you did it before la. And if you did it before, it means you can do it again … just a matter of getting back into the groove (wah, listen to me – like pro … yeah right!!) … I better stop talking so big. nanti ter-regret and lose face!
May 21, 2009 at 2:09 PM
what if the officials ask us to get off the bridge if we cannot finish within the given time because bridge need to open to traffic? then cannot brag that we’ve done 21km…
May 21, 2009 at 3:08 PM
oi, you’re the one who told me it’s the whole experience that counts ma. So even if we get kicked off the bridge, that’s also part of the experience what. It’s ok if we can’t brag about finishing. at least I’ll have something funny to blog about – haha!