Are You A (Facebook) Narcissist?

Came across this article the other day, which claims that you can tell how narcissistic a person is by their Facebook profile. The researchers at the University of Georgia recently conducted a study on this (wah, so free). They got a bunch of FB users and made them answer personality questionnaires; also got a random bunch of people to comb through FB profiles and rate how narcissistic the profile owners were. The results of the study are detailed in the October issue of the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. Read full article at Livescience here and at Science Daily here.

Personally, I’ve got nothing against narcissism or narcissists. Hell, I’ve been accused of harbouring narcissistic tendencies for years and it doesn’t bother me!

So anyways, according to the researchers, these are the tell-tale signs of narcissism:

1. “Quantity of social interaction”
In other words, you got a lot of stuff on your wall or not? Apparently, the more stuff you have on your wall and the more ‘friends’ you have, the more narcissistic you are. They said and I quote: “This is similar to how narcissists behave in the real world, forming numerous but shallow relationships with others.”

2. “Degree of self-promotion in your main photo”
Apparently, most FB users put up simple snapshots of themselves while narcissists put up really glamour pics. So if you have a pic of yourself in a gold tube dress (gasp) and a tiara (double gasp), you’re a narcissist for sure. Uh oh.

3. “Attractiveness of the individual”
In other words, the hotter you are, the more narcissistic; the uglier you are, the less narcissistic. This is such a non-point. Obviously, you need to have some degree of hotness to be a narcissist. Narcissism is, after all, excessive self-love. How to self-love when you look like a cross between a biawak and King Kong’s left armpit? Duh.

Looking at this list, I would probably be classified as a Facebook narcissist … but then, so would a lot of other people. Sheesh. Next thing you know, the “experts” will coin a new disorder – FNPD (Facebook Narcissistic Personality Disorder), kinda like an extension of NPD, and add it to the DSM – the psychiatrists’ Holy Grail of all that is sick and wrong with the world, which they can charge lots of money to “cure” with drugs and therapy.

The thing is, I’m all for disorders. Why not? I’ve got a whole ton of them!! Besides, as far as disorders go, narcissism isn’t as bad as being schizo or something. But just to be sure, I decided to test myself to see if I really am a bona fide Narcissist – not a Facebook one; a REAL one.

So I went to Mayo Clinic (my Holy Grail for all that is sick and wrong with me), and here they are: some symptoms of a REAL narcissist (for the full list, click here).

1. Believing that you’re better than others
You mean I’m not?

2. Exaggerating your talents
Not true. My talents speak for themselves; there’s no need (or room) for exaggeration.

3. Expecting constant praise and admiration
Of course I don’t expect constant praise and admiration. I mean, people have to sleep also ma.

4. Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
You mean they shouldn’t?

5. Trouble keeping healthy relationships
Not true. I have extremely healthy relationships with my butler and all my slaves.

Hmm. Looks like I’m destined to be nothing more than a mere Facebook Narcissist after all.