This year, I shall become an activist and fight for worthy causes. It was during my Save The Workaholics campaign when I realised hey, I’m pretty good at this. And since I want more meaning in my life, I should take up some social causes. I have selected few that are particularly close to my heart, where I can truly make a difference. So in 2010, I will …

(1) … FIGHT FATISM!
What is it? Fatism is when someone of considerable girth is discriminated against, like they get turned down for jobs like modeling, trapeze artist, diet coach or accounting; are penalised with chubby tax and need to pay for the extra seat they spill into in the plane, get looked at unfavourably at McDonald’s outlets, are eyeballed when wearing a bathing suit in public.
Why am I fighting it? Because anyone can become fat. While I may be on the skinny camp right now (some people insist I’m queen of that camp and the rest of the skinny people are my minions), I’m painfully aware of the possibility that I can very realistically put on weight. I have put on 10kg in one year on a snazzy diet of pizza and macaroni and cheese and ferocious late night Maggi Mee sessions, so if my body can retaliate and go amok that way, who knows what the future holds??!! There are many horrendous things that can happen – I might become all emo over something and turn to food for comfort. I might get knocked up, give birth and turn into a BFC (Big Fat Cow). I’m not foolish enough to think that these things will never happen to me, so I better not speak so soon.
How can I fight this? By refusing to read materials that bash fat people, watching shows that star fat people such as Biggest Loser, eating one donut a week and spamming pro-ana websites.

(2) … FIGHT AGEISM!
What is it? Ageism is when you are discriminated against and considered an old hag and over the hill and therefore, not worthy of hotness after a certain age. Unfortunately, this certain age is a number that keeps skulking farther and farther down the ladder, subject to fashion magazine editors’ whims and fancies. Because of this, signs of ageing such as wrinkles, fine lines and (god forbid) grey hair are viewed as nothing less than a horrible curse.
Why am I fighting it? Because everybody gets old. Very reliable statistics show that it affects approximately 100% of the population in every country on the planet. There are people who insist ageing is a ‘disease’ that needs to be cured. Only unhealthy people get old. I presume this means they believe healthy people will stay ‘young’ and live forever. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, so I’m flat-out ignoring this argument. Ageing is a natural part of life and you shouldn’t be made to feel bad about it. It’s also a tragically pointless exercise to try to look young forever. Famous celebrities all around the world, in their desperate bid to cling onto their last vestiges of youth (and hotness), have done unspeakable things to themselves only to wind up resembling felines and in the cases of some even more unfortunate, canines.
How can I fight this? By growing old – oh wait, I’m already doing that! Mission accomplished. Another way to fight ageism is to be extra nice to old people and to respond with great enthusiasm when kids call you auntie or uncle. When people ask you your age, tell them with pride: I am [insert (real) age here] years old! Don’t try to look younger than your age by dressing the way you think younger people would dress. A 45 year old trying to look like a 25 year old inevitably winds up looking like … a 45 year old trying to look like a 25 year old.

(3) … FIGHT RACISM!
What is it? Racism is when you are judged based on the colour of your skin. Dark skin? Bad. Fair skin? Good. Advertising campaigns are shameless in this area. Life will be better, you’ll look more beautiful, attract more men and be more successful at your job if only you were three shades lighter! Ever seen a Fair & Lovely or Fair & Handsome commercial? They go a little something like this: dark-skinned girl goes for job interview; interviewer blows her off; girl goes home and applies Fair & Lovely onto face; skin becomes 5 shades lighter overnight; girl walks past office building where interviewer sees her; interviewer offers her job (and marriage proposal) on the spot.
Why am I fighting it? Pasty white skin isn’t always attractive! Besides, what kind of message is this anyways? That you’re doomed unless you’re fair-skinned? Talk about going back to the dark ages. I figured we were more progressive than this.
How can I fight this? By shunning products that claim to lighten / whiten / brighten your skin. Instead of hoping fairer skin will make you smarter, more attractive or more marketable, why not do something radical like read a book or grow a personality? That might work better.

(4) … FIGHT UGLYISM!
What is it? Uglyism is being unkind to people who are ugly – you refuse to talk to them, date them or add them on Facebook despite their jovial personalities. Or worse, you make them your best friend so you look better in comparison.
Why am I fighting it? Uglyism is an interesting animal, one unlike any of the other social causes I have listed. For one thing, very few people are truly ugly. Besides, what is ugly anyway? Unless you resemble a cross between the Bride of Frankenstein and Jack Nicholson’s left boob, how high up you are on the Ugly Ladder is a highly subjective matter. It’s also a relative matter – it depends on how ugly/attractive the people around you are. This murky situation has caused many people who are just plain or unattractive, and not bona fide ugly, to become victims of undeserved discrimination. And that’s why it’s so important to fight uglyism. By doing so, you’re improving the lives of the plain and unattractive as well.
How can I fight this? First, by defining what it really means to be ugly, and then making this knowledge known to the world. You’re going to need an army of scientists for this. And second, by not wearing makeup to work once a week … the world may not be fully prepared for that but hell, when you’ve got a cause, you’ve got a cause!